Running From The Past
by Lady Arachnia
Summary: Tanya has been physically abused by her parents and escapes to London, just as the air raids begin. The Pevensies pull her into a world she only dreamed existed. Maybe she can find love and family at last...
1. Fleeing From Hate

**Author's Note: I've changed the lyrics slightly to match the storyline.**

_I'm the tear in your eyes  
I'm the blood in your veins  
I'm the beat of your heart  
I'm the sweat on your face  
I'm the one that you chased  
I'm the promise that you made  
I'm the voice in your head  
I'm the lies that you said_

_I'm the girl that you pushed away_

_I'm the pride of your life  
I'm the light shining deep in your eyes  
I'm the choice that you made  
I'm the smile on your face  
When you sleep at night  
I'm the best thing you had  
But you left me behind_

_I'm the girl that you pushed away_

_I'm the pain that you feel  
I'm the scars that don't heal  
I'm the tear in your eyes  
I'm the reason you cry  
I'm the voice in your head  
I'm the lies that you said  
I'm the best thing you had  
But you pushed me away_

_Simple Plan_

Tanya leaned against the wall, crying. A knife was in her hand and she drew another long cut down her wrist. Another cut made no difference to her. It was just one more to an already large collection of scars. "All I asked was love." She whispered bitterly as the blood welled up from the cuts and dripped steadily down her pale wrists. This closet was her refuge from the world. It was hers.

The knife in her hand was one she had stolen from the kitchen almost one year ago. A year ago Tanya would have shuddered at the mere thought of dragging a knife across her ivory skin. Now, it had become her refuge from pain. Things had started small, with scissor blades being pressed against the skin enough to leave marks. Then gentle lines on the backs of her hands, then down the backs of her arms. Soon it had gone to drawing patterns or writing words with the knife on her skin. Now, she drew it down her wrist. Her arms were so scarred now it was if she had been a cutter all her life.

"Tanya!" Her dad was pounding on her bedroom door. "Get your sorry ass out here now!" A wild fear glistened in Tanya's watery blue eyes. "I've got to hide!" She scrambled for the very back of her closet. A hidden panel had been built inside the closet years before Tanya's family had ever moved in. She pushed the button and the panel slid open and she ducked inside. The panel slid shut just as the door to Tanya's bedroom burst open with a bang. "Tanya!" Came her father's furious voice. He kicked down the closet door. Tanya scrambled further back into the hidden room. If he found her, she would be as good as dead. The room had a back exit that lead into a tunnel that went on for miles. How far, Tanya did not actually know. Right now she didn't really care as long as it got her away from this mad house. Tanya ran through the tunnel for what seemed like hours until she reached its end. It ended in a rolling meadow, the opening just and extremely large hole in the ground. She cautiously climbed out, her kitchen knife in hand. No one was around. A large boulder stood nearby, balanced precariously on the edge of the tunnel's opening. She shoved it with all of her strength into the opening, blocking away her past forever.

Tanya trudged on as it began to rain. Just ahead, she could see London. Tired and soaking wet she limped into the darkened city. Blackout curtains had been drawn across windows. No one but her was outside that night. Then, overhead, she heard a strange humming noise and then…..

_KABOOM!_

A bomb exploded nearby sending pieces of wood and stone flying at her. Sirens began wailing and people streamed from houses, trying to get into bomb shelters. Tanya was lost and had no place to go. She took a deep breath and raced for the nearest shelter. A family tore out of their home, but one boy jerked away and ran back inside the house. The other boy followed. Another bomb went off, knocking Tanya to the ground. "Come on, Ed," Came a boy's shout. Tanya tried to get to her feet and into the shelter, but found her left leg was absolutely useless. Another bomb exploded nearby, showering the already bleeding girl with stones. "Help me, please!" She cried out, trying to move. Her left leg was stuck firmly beneath a lamp post. Tanya could hardly see through all the smoke, but she could make out a faint shape rushing towards her. "Help!" She called to the figure. The figure ran to her side. It was a boy about her age, maybe a bit older. Slowly, he pried up the post holding her firmly. She struggled out from underneath it, her broken leg dragging. The boy dropped the post again and hurriedly began to help her into the shelter. "Thank you." She whispered, grateful tears streaming down her cheeks.

The older woman, obviously the mother, bustled around trying to gather materials to splint Tanya's leg. "Peter, hand me the bandages please. Oh, and the broom handle." She finished splinting Tanya's leg and began to gently wash away the worst of the blood on her face. That's when she noticed the knife and the hundreds of cuts and bruises all over Tanya's face, arms, and legs. She had enough sense to guess there were more on Tanya's stomach and back. She gently washed the cuts and bandaged them up, never once guessing the cuts were from Tanya herself. "You poor thing. After this is over you may stay with my children when they go to the country." Tanya smiled gratefully just before collapsing into unconsciousness.


	2. The Letter

_Something has been taken from deep inside of me  
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see  
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away  
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played_

_Linkin Park_

Tanya stood a little ways away from the Pevensie family as they said their good-byes. The scene was like that she'd only dreamed of. A good-bye where there was hugging, kissing, and a little crying. Not, "Good riddance!" or, "Behave yourself or I'll beat you when I get back!" She watched as Mrs. Pevensie hugged her children tightly, crying slightly. She turned to look at Tanya. "Come here, dear." Tanya walked hesitantly closer and was surprised when Mrs. Pevensie scooped her up into a hug. "Good-bye, Tanya. Be safe." She whispered. Conductors surged through the crowd, drawing children onto the train. "Good-bye!" Called Mrs. Pevensie tearfully. The children waved farewell to their mother and boarded the train.

As they boarded, Tanya sighted some soldiers marching along the platform. She felt tears prick her eyes as she remembered her brother. He'd been the only family member that had truly loved her. He'd gone away to war and Tanya hadn't seen or heard much from him since.

She started to board the train when she heard a shout from behind her. "Tanya!" She whirled and to her shock saw her brother for the first time in almost a year. "John!" She screamed, launching herself off of the loading ramp and into her brother's arms. He hugged her tightly. "Where are Mum and Dad?" He asked after a moment. Tanya gazed steadily up at him; "I left." John wasn't too surprised. He knew how his sister had been treated, but had been able to do nothing about it. "It has gotten worse hasn't it?" Tanya nodded then looked at the train. Peter was motioning for her to hurry up. "Write me." She whispered as she copied the address off of her tag. John tucked the scrap of paper away in his jacket pocket. "I promise I will." He whispered, hugged her again, and then pushed her onto the train. She waved to him and allowed Peter to lead her into their car.

"Who was that?" He asked, lifting Tanya's small bag of belongings onto the shelf above their heads. "My brother." She replied, flopping down beside the window. She saw her brother on the platform. A tear fell from her eye; she was leaving him this time. "Good-bye, Tanya!" John called as the train began to pull out of the station. Tanya blew her brother a kiss and waved until she could no longer see him.

The train ride was fairly calm. Lucy and Tanya stared out the window while Peter and Susan read. Edmund was doing who-knows-what at his spot by the door. Time after time the train stopped to let off children. Each time they did so Tanya's heart began to flutter with fear. What if the family they were with was cruel like her parents? What if there had been a mistake and there was no room for them? Peter must have sensed Tanya's anxiety for he laid a calming hand on her arm. She leaned her head on his shoulder, listening to the steady sound of his heart beating. Soon, she was asleep.

* * *

"Tanya! Wake up, we're leaving." Peter shook her awake. Tanya snatched up the small satchel of stuff and followed to four Pevensies off onto a deserted platform. A car rumbled along the road and the child rushed to get beside. The car didn't stop. "Maybe we've been incorrectly labeled." Edmund muttered examining his tag. Just then Tanya heard the sound of carriage wheels bouncing along the stones. A formidable woman in a horse-drawn cart pulled up in front of them. "Pevensies and Miss Tanya?" She said, more of a statement than a question. "Mrs. Macready?" Peter replied hesitantly. "Is that all you have?" She asked haughtily. "Yes, mum." Peter replied softly. "Well, get in." She jerked her head and the children clambered aboard. For almost an hour the cart rattled down the road towards a huge mansion. Once there the housekeeper launched off onto a rehearsed speech about being quiet and not touching anything. Tanya paid her little or no attention as the children were led through the silent building to their rooms. Mrs. Macready shut the door firmly behind them and the children were left in the four rooms.

Tanya set her small satchel on the bed. She pulled out her few possessions. They consisted of her knife, pen, ink, and notebook. Susan had lent her a few clothes, but had packed them in her own bag. Someone knocked on Tanya's door. "Tanya?" Came the soft voice of Peter Pevensie. "Come in." She replied just as softly. The door opened and Peter walked in with an armload of clothes. "Susan told me to give these to you." He told her, setting them on the bed. A gentle smile lifted the corners of Tanya's mouth and she fell sleepily onto the bed. Peter smiled and gently shut the door to let her sleep.

* * *

Exploding shells pounded the ground around John. He lay low inside the blood drenched trench. The stench of the dead clung to his nostrals like fly to a carcass. And indeed there were many flies. A showers of bullets pounded the dirt barriers protecting the English soldiers from death. One foolish man near John poked his head up and was shot for his troubles. "All men forward!" Came the generals cry over the booming of bombs. John took a deep and charged out of his trench and into the fighting. A bullet ripped through his thigh and he fell to the ground. Men fled the field as theEnglish charged forward, but John did not see that victorious day.

* * *

Tanya sat staring out of the window. Rain had been pouring down for three days, making her glum mood even glummer. "Mail for you, Miss Tanya." Tanya turned around to see the professor holding a letter out to her. gingerly she took it and glanced at the address. The writing was unfamiliar. Her heart stopped beating as she opened the letter and read the first line.

_To Tanya Corza:_

_ It grieves us much the we must inform you of your brother's passing. John died as any good soldier would wish to die. He died in battle defending his family, his country, and his honor. As his sister we thought it only right to inform you of his death and wish you the best of luck._

_Sincerely,_

_Adam Hartford_

_P.S. Your brother was my best friend and closest companion. His death has left an empty place in my heart that can never be filled. I hope that you will try and accept his death as the nature of war. Do not blame yourself for what you could not prevent._

Tears ran down Tanya's cheeks as she read the letter over and over. "No! John, please God, not John!" She whispered, scrunching the letter in her hands. Her grief took over and she beat her fists against the wall until they were a bloody mess and at least one of them was broken. "John!" She screamed. The door to her room flew open and Peter and Edmund stood in the doorway. Peter had the common sense to wrap her bleeding hands in blankets and he carried her to the professor. Tanya lapsed into an uneasy, exhausted sleep as the professor drove her to the nearest doctor 10 miles away.

* * *

**Author's Note: I have no actual battle references or anything so bear with along the lines where I mentions battles. If that made any sense to you at all.**

* * *


	3. Valley of Death

Tanya woke up in her own room. Her hands were tightly bandaged and were on the mend. Though her hands did not pain her, it was her heart that hurt. The loss of her beloved brother John was almost too much for her. Yet there was still Peter, he was always there, playing the part of big brother to them all. He listened to her and was helping her let go of her grief. He was always there for her. Just like John has been. Somehow everything she thought always came back to John and how she had lost him.

Tanya was startled from her thoughts by a knock on the door.

"Tanya?" Lucy whispered through the door. Tanya got out of bed and opened the door. Lucy put a finger to her lips.

"Come on! Peter's going to find us!" She dragged Tanya up the stairs.

"Are we playing hide-and-go-seek?" Tanya guessed.

Lucy nodded and pulled Tanya into a room with only a giant white shape at one end.

"What's that?" Lucy muttered as she slowly pulled away the giant white sheet. A huge wardrobe stood in front of the pair. They could hear Peter's voice as he finished counting.

"Hurry!"

Tanya opened the door and the two of them jumped into the wardrobe. Tanya wisely left the door open a crack as they buried themselves in the mass of fur coats.

"Ouch!" Lucy gasped suddenly.

"What is it?" Tanya asked, turning.

Lucy held up her hand, it had bits of ice and greenery on it. The two girls stepped out into soft, powdery snow.

"Where are we?" Lucy asked Tanya, squeezing the older girl's hand.

"I don't know, Lu. I don't know."

They moved into a small circle of trees. In the center stood a glowing lamp post.

"Stay here, Lu. I'll see if I can find someone," Tanya told the girl and she started off through the trees.

**10 Minutes Later**

Tanya glanced about her as she followed a barely visible path in the ice. It resembled a deer track that had not been used in years. Ice and snow covered everything around her. She shivered and rubbed her arms, wishing she had thought to bring one of the coats from the wardrobe with her.

Hands suddenly seized Tanya from behind and covered her mouth when she tried to scream.

"Be silent," someone hissed in her ear as they pulled her back into the forest.

Tanya twisted violently in her captor's grasp. They released her suddenly and she fell back onto the snow-covered ground. Someone wrapped an arm around her shoulders to keep her from hitting her head.

"Keep silent a moment longer," the someone whispered.

Tanya lay quiet as the harsh sound of a whip shattered the still air.

"Are you sure you saw two Daughters of Eve?" asked a woman. Her voice sent shivers down Tanya's spine. It was a harsh and cold voice.

"Positive, your Majesty," answered a gruff voice. "One went with the faun Tumnus, the other, this way. I can still smell her scent."

The being holding Tanya muttered something that sounded distinctly like swearing. The girl was suddenly lifted by an arm around her waist and swung onto the being's back. Tanya couldn't tell who was holding her on their back, but she decided that the being was a male even though the hood hid his face.

"Hang on," he whispered.

Tree trunks flashed by as he took off running through the forest. Tanya buried her face in his shoulder to protect it from the biting winds. She wasn't entirely sure why she was trusting the man who had basically kidnapped her, but she figured he was a safer bet than what lay behind her.

Tanya looked up as all motion ceased.

"You can stand now," the man told her. He released her legs and let her slide down his back.

Tanya swayed for a moment, but managed to stay on her feet. The man who had carried her thus far pushed back his hood.

"I am sorry for the secrecy, but with the Witch so close I dared not introduce myself," he told her gently. "My name is Ramir. I am the leader of the Elves and of our resistance."

"My name is Tanya," she told him. "Resistance? Against the Witch?"

"Yes." Ramir nodded. "She has declared herself ruler of Narnia, but she really is a murderous usurper."

"Who is supposed to rule then?" Tanya asked.

"The land and all those in it belong to Aslan, but he is rarely among us. It is said that he will return when two Sons of Adam and two Daughters of Eve come to Narnia," he explained. "Are you one of the Daughters of whom the legends speak?"

"I doubt it," Tanya told him. "I have four friends that I would wish to come with me next time I come."

"I see."

"Lucy!" Tanya gasped suddenly. "You must take me to the lamppost!"

Ramir looked at her in confusion. "I don't understand."

"Lucy, she is a Daughter Eve! She must be the one the Witch was talking about. We have to get back to the lamppost and find her!" Tanya looked around her, trying to figure out where she was.

"This way." Ramir started off into the trees.

Tanya hurried to keep up.

They passed a small valley that brimmed with statues. The statues resembled Ramir with his long hair and pointed ears.

"Ramir, what are those?" Tanya asked, catching up to him. She pointed at the statues.

He didn't even look and kept right on walking.

"Those are my brothers and sisters, Elves that the Witch defeated in battle," he said finally. Ramir stopped walking and turned to face Tanya. "Please, come back to Narnia as soon as you can. My people are dying. We, and all other true Narnians, need your help and that of your friends."

Tanya stared up at him. She nodded slowly.

The Elf spun and walked further into the forest.

The pair reached the lamppost with nothing more said. Ramir stopped at the edge of the trees.

"This is where I must leave you," he told her gently. "I will look for you should you ever return to Narnia." He vanished into the trees.

Tanya rejoined Lucy who was standing near the wardrobe entrance. Her mind raced as they stepped back into England.


	4. Dreaming of Stone

As it turned out the older Pevensies did not believe either Tanya or Lucy about the strange new land in the wardrobe. They even checked. Tanya was rather shocked at the entrance not being there. She was also worried. How was she supposed to bring help to the Elves if she could not reach them? Tanya tried to forget the scenes by telling herself that she had simply imagined them. That night, Tanya's dreams were strange and twisted in nature.

_Tanya and Ramir leapt from the snowy trees, ambushing the White Witch and her caravan. A handful of Elven warriors appeared to help them. Ramir went after the Minotaur beside the Witch's sleigh while Tanya attacked the Witch herself. The witch dismounted, her icy scepter in her hand. Tanya ducked as it swung right over her head, hitting an attacking bird in the process. The bird dropped to the snowy ground, a stone figure. Tanya sliced at the Witch, catching the edge of her gown and tearing it but not drawing blood. _

_Someone gave a short cry of pain distracting Tanya from her battle. Ramir fell to his knees, blood dripping from between his fingers. Tanya started for him when the Witch stabbed her viciously with her scepter. Tanya's world went black and she knew nothing more._

Tanya jerked into wakefulness at the commotion outside of her door. She wiped the memories of the dream from her mind. Slowly she padded over to the door and peeked outside.

Lucy was crying and holding tightly to the Professor. Mrs. Macready burst out of her room nearly shouting.

"You children are one shenanigan shy of sleeping in the stables!" She stopped dead when she saw the Professor. "I'm sorry, sir. I told them you were not to be disturbed."

"That's quite all right," Professor Kirk said, "But I think this one is in need of a little hot chocolate."

Mrs. Macready took Lucy down to the kitchens. Peter and Susan started back down the hall and Tanya started to duck back into her room, but the professor cleared his throat. He motioned to the older children. Reluctantly, the three followed him down the hall into his study.

"You seemed to have upset the delicate internal balance of my housekeeper." He said, stuffing his pipe with tobacco.

"We're very sorry, sir. It won't happen again." Peter began trying to pull Susan and Tanya out of the room. Susan jerked away.

"It's our sister, sir."

The Professor nodded knowingly, "The weeping girl."

Susan continued, "She's upset, sir."

Again the Professor nodded, "Hence the weeping."

"She thinks she's found a magical land in the upstairs wardrobe." Susan confessed. The Professor looked completely surprised.

"What was it like?" he asked as he led the three children to the couch.

"Like talking to a lunatic." Susan replied promptly.

"No, no. I meant the forest."

Tanya spoke for the first time. "It was completely covered in snow and ice. Really it was very beautiful, but…." She trailed off under the gaze of Peter, Susan, and the Professor.

"You've seen it?" The Professor stared at her.

Tanya nodded, "Only once and by sheer accident." He just continued to stare.

"If you'll excuse me, please." Tanya ducked out of the study and disappeared into her own room. The rest of the night her dreams were filled with stone people and animals.


End file.
